Under Siege: The Kauai Beachboy Hotel
Well, now, here's a fine kettle of fish. Or should we say a fine sidewalk full of fish blown up onto the shore by Typhoon Dave! Weren't we surprised to awake in our private hideaway to find our windows popped in and lying across us on the bed. (Not really, but exaggeration is the acceptable tool of the fiction writer). Criminently. (Woody, is that how you spell criminently?) The Hawaiian word for ciminently is halamalakoala. Did you know there are only 12 letters in the Hawaiian alphabet? (A E I O U and then just the middle of our alphabet: K L M N P and some other ones). That makes it a very easy language in which Mike can master the rudiments of spelling.
Palm Trees Trying to Remain Standing
These are the trees right outside our room. We're taking a picture of them now just in case they aren't there later. The wind is extremely whippy, and when we're in our room with the lanai doors closed, it sounds like this: wooooooooeeyooooo. Hey, we just saw a person walking by at a 45 degree angle, wearing a garbage bag!
Trapped indoors
Liz is in the room now, and this is her view. Mike is on the beach like a nut, poking around in the churned-up water. You all know him, and realize that that is exactly the sort of thing he'd be doing in the middle of a typhoon. Question: Once a typhoon reaches land, isn't that considered a hurricane?
The surf is brown!
Note the many large pieces of flotsam afloat on the surf. (Flotsam is Hawaiian for crapola). Later, this will all be deposited on our lanai. Mike, of course, is excited, believing it will contain many treasures he can collect in a bag--perhaps a dessicated frog body, some medical waste, the torso of a Ken doll, and a piece of eight (Woody, can you have just one piece of eight?) Liz has tied a rope to his waist, and periodically tugs on it to make sure he's still there. He, most likely, has tied his end to a tree stump so he can go off even further.
Logs on the beach
...and what's left of Mike. That white splotch you see on the left is all that remains of his Norwegian body, which is the same color as the sand and, therefore, somewhat difficult to pick out. Liz thinks he's lying there waiting for some Baywatch babes to stumble across him and give him mouth-to-mouth. But it's not likely to happen. Everybody here is either an old tourist, or chubby.That's all for now. It's time to stop and sacrifice a virgin to the gods, so on to DAY 3.